Hey Bartender
hey bartender, hit me with a double
got a story to tell and i think i'm in trouble
went to a party last night to find that special someone
but she wasn't there and i hooked up with the wrong one
not that she was fat or ugly, just a little hideous
beer goggles had her looking like liz vicious
i knew what was going down when she came on to me
but i wasn't in a position to say no you know what i mean
so we're up there on the rooftop, i know everyone saw me
cause the next day everyone started making fun of me
i ain't saying that i didn't, cause it was a fun time
but now she's calling all day and i ain't picking up the line
i didn't even give her my number how she found it i don't know
but i know i'm in trouble cause this happened once before
just keep running to every bar i know she's gonna find me
then it's off to last night, it's a sure guarantee
she's got me running going round from bar to bar
trying to forget what happened it can't be that hard
so bring me my drink let me drink all night long
and when it's time to close just let me sing one last song
what i'm trying to say is i can't make her go away
tried a couple of things but it still ain't a-ok
so i'm having a drink, i'm sippin while i think
of a way to get rid of her i think she needs a shrink
she's stalking me or at least that's what i think
turned off my phone cause i'm scared it's gonna ring
she'll start yanking my ear cause i'm not picking up
but what'd you expect i'm just your average drunk
probably lost it last night when i was in her pants
just a couple of hours after she asked me to dance
she brought me more booze and whispered in my ear
"liquor in the front, poker in the rear"
i got all crazy like the reverend horton heat
then she unzipped my pants, stuck her hand in for a treat
now i can't say much more cause it's not very nice
but if it happens once again i'm gonna think twice
she's got me running going round from bar to bar
trying to forget what happened it can't be that hard
so bring me my drink let me drink all night long
and when it's time to close just let me sing one last song