In The Clinic

at the hospital they're giving away free shots
i was feeling sick so i said why not
hey doc what's up i brought my own cup
he looked at me and they put me up
got room service plus breakfast in bed
nothings got salt gimme a drink instead
i'll have tequilla whiskey or vodka
a nurse came in holding a thermometer
i said hello won't you gimme a sponge bath
look like amy dumas what you think about that
it's time for your shot you got to get a test
and after that i'll justlet you rest
i'm like bring it on what we gonna drink too
a syringe in my arm i'll see you soon
the doc came in he was looking like moses
nicity, you got mono nucleosis

so i'm stuck in a hospital for about seven days
the nurses never even brought a drink my way
what kind of place is this where's the hospitality
i need a notebook write a letter to my family
dear mom and dad, my brother and sister
writing to you is a drunken mister
come and visit me, bring a bottle of anything
better yet make that a bottle of everything
signed mr. drunk ps bring a cup
they threw mine away when i puked out my lunch
never think i'd say this but please no more shots
my veins are all dead and i can't feel my arm
how the hell did i get here, does it even matter
probably that bitch i fucked from mo better
and that dirty sanchez why'd we even do it
now i got a fat spleen and liver just to prove it

bring me a drink miss nurse lita look-alike
said she couldn't and i offered a bribe
she took my money and she never came back
with a drink that is so i demanded a sponge bath
she said nuh-uh and offered a toast
got my cup ready but i should've known
she tied up my arm and started looking for a vein
too bad i never did ask for her name
another shot but not in my glass
i would've killed her but she got a nice ass
all dressed in white she looks like an angel
and when she bends over i can see her underwear
my mind starts spinning and i know i should be drinking
but all this sobriety really got me thinking
i don't like being sober it's no fun at all
i just got to make it to a bar before last call